August 22 2008

Sitting in a lounge in Brooklyn.

I arrived in New York yesterday afternoon.  I knew I would be scared or nervous about my new surroundings and situation.  I didn’t think I would be so emotional about my departure.  But then again, I did just leave my friends, family and a boy who I love.  I have high ambitions as most people know, but I can’t help but my decision to go completely across the country.

I really do love New York City and Brooklyn.  I love the tall buildings, the unlimited amount of taxis, the noisy subways, the news stands on the side of the streets and most of all the massive amount of people.  I’ve never crossed a street with the amount of people that I did earlier this day when I was in Times Square.  Part of me still feels like this is a vacation and that I will be returning home shortly, but I know I have 9 months here before I can return home.  Time will past fast and slowly at once.

Nights are hard for me.  I have extreme panic attacks, I get nervous and antsy and over think every situation in my life.  I had one of my worst panic attacks last night.  At around 10 PM, I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep because I realized my situation.  I was in a strange huge city and without a certain person that I really cared about.  I know it’s hard now.  I know it will get easier.

Filed in: Personal